Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Learning Lessons Between Relationships

(Was posted on Friendster Blog on May 1st, 2007)

Gue dapet ini dari e-mail gue.

The time immediately after ending a relationship can be painful, confusing and disorienting. So much energy has most likely been spent in first trying to make the relationship work and then in the process of ending the relationship. The time when a relationship actually ends can seem without focus or purpose. The tendency with most people is to distract themselves, become depressed, be consumed with anger for the other person or anger at themselves.

We feel that there is a destiny to each relationship. There is a divine hand helping to bring two people together. Sometimes a relationship is long term, sometimes short. But regardless of the length, all relationships come to teach us something important. The key to success in all relationships, long or short, is to be continually learning how to open our hearts.

The space immediately after ending a relationship can be a very valuable period in our lives. If a person distracts themselves or rushes into another relationship, the gifts and lessons of the previous relationship could be difficult to bring forth. A friend of ours ended a relationship of four years in which a child had been born. He described his life as a giant jigsaw puzzle which had dropped to the ground.

Some major pieces stayed together, others separated and went all over. He realized he could quickly gather the pieces and, before the puzzle was whole, begin a new relationship. He saw how, once a new relationship had begun, he would be building a new puzzle without the other one being complete. He realized he needed to take time and bring the broken puzzle to wholeness and this completion would open the door for the new.

The period between relationships is rich with lessons and growth. Focusing blame on either your partner or upon yourself will blind you to the divine lesson to be learned. Spend time in silence asking yourself why you were brought together with this person. What is the lesson to be learned? What were the gifts you were able to give in the relationship? What further gifts would you like to give in your next relationship? Then focus on gratitude that you could spend time with this person.

This relationship was a gift from the Universe given to both of you according to the highest wisdom of both of your needs. As you can feel your gratitude for the relationship, understanding and wisdom -- and therefore peace -- will come. In time your heart will truly open to the other person and you will feel the blessing of the relationship. The fact that the relationship did not last as long as you had hoped will cease to be of importance. The realization that you learned and grew and opened your heart will bless your entire life.

Hehe, ternyata cara gue nggak salah2 bgt kok ngatasin my failed-relationship kemaren. Hmm, not bad for the 1st-experienced person. :p

Tp nggak nyangka, butuh waktu sekitar 1/2 tahun utk sampai ke tahap ini. Mulai dr depresi, apatis, benci, rindu, jatoh cinta lagi, kecewa, sakit hati lagi, benci akut, dendam kesumat, sampe tahap forgiving.

Ternyata ada tameng yg lebih kuat drpd mikirin cara bales dendam, nge-reject telponnya, ato hapus nomer dr HP ato buang jejak2 bekas kehadirannya di keseharian gue. Ternyata itu cm semakin nunjukin betapa lemahnya gue di balik semua itu. Ternyata ada tameng yg lebih kuat dr semua itu : KASIH. :) Memang nggak gampang buat menanamkan ini dlm hati. Butuh proses. Tp once u've felt it, u'll see everything differently. :) Feel better afterwards.

Spend time in silence asking yourself why you were brought together with this person. What is the lesson to be learned? What were the gifts you were able to give in the relationship? What further gifts would you like to give in your next relationship? Then focus on gratitude that you could spend time with this person.

Ahh, that's old stuff. Kebetulan aja kepikiran lg pas baca e-mail itu. Kebetulan lately gue jg baru mendapat banyak berita ttg fakta2 lain ttg org tsb dr sumber2 yg terpercaya. Sst yg kalo gue dapatkan sblm gue sampai ke tahap ini, mungkin akan bikin gue jatoh sekali lagi. But now I'm so grateful for that phase of life.

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