Thursday, December 02, 2010

Secercah Harap (diinspirasi oleh sorg anak korban bully)


Pagi merekah. Saatnya memulai hari. "Bangunlah, Nak....bangun. Mungkin hari inilah saatnya," bisikku dalam hati.

Dengan secercah senyum dan harapan, kau kembali beranjak. Siapkan hati, 'tuk hadapi dunia. Siapkan tekad, 'tuk gapai impian. Siapkan kekuatan, 'tuk halau cobaan. Kini kakimu siap melangkah.

Dadamu berdebar kencang. Nafasmu tertahan. Pikirmu pun melayang. Khawatir itu kembali datang. Terus mengejar. Panggilannya begitu kuat. Bisikannya begitu menggoda. "Sshh, jangan hiraukan mereka," bisikku kembali. "Lihatlah ke sana...." Seketika matamu menangkap sosok itu. Sosok hangat, penuh harap, dan selalu setia menopang. Wanita yang tak ingin kau kecewakan. Ditemani sebuah sosok kuat yang siap menyediakan yang terbaik bagimu. Harap itu kembali muncul.

Hidup tak seindah yang diharapkan. Duri-duri itu begitu dalam. Begitu dalam hingga menorehkan luka di hatimu. Langkah pertamamu di dunia, badai kembali menerjang. Anginnya begitu kencang. Suaranya begitu memekakkan telinga. Jangankan melangkah maju. Bertahanpun menjadi hampir mustahil.

Bibirmu kelu. Tak sepatah katapun mampu kau ucapkan. Segala kata urung kau ungkapkan. Sejuta rasa gagal kau ceritakan. Ingin rasanya melawan, tapi semuanya terasa begitu menakutkan. Siapa mampu melawan? Seketika kau menjadi lemah. Begitu berat. Begitu gelap.

Di mana secercah harap yang tadi pagi muncul? Secercah cahaya lenyap menghilang. Pagi berganti menjadi malam. Siang menghilang tanpa sempat kau raih.

"Tabahkan hatimu, Nak. Mungkin bukan hari ini. Mungkin juga bukan besok. Tapi pasti suatu hari nanti. Yah, saatnya akan tiba. Aku yakin itu. Aku tahu kau bisa. Hari ini biarlah berlalu. Esok mentari kan kembali bersinar. Cahaya itu 'kan kembali datang. Raihlah. Ia tak sejauh yang kau kira. Jangan tutup matamu, dan teruslah melangkah. Siang begitu indah untuk kau lewatkan. Hari itu akan tiba, ketika kau sanggup membuka mata, menghadapi dunia, dan menikmati 'siang'...."

______________________________________________

Diinspirasi oleh seorang anak yang menjadi korban bully di sekolah.
Dipersembahkan kepada semua orang yang lebih sering mendengar hal negatif tentang dirinya ketimbang pujian.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

10 Chinesse Wisdom....

Bacaan menarik sebelum memulai aktifitas hari ini
10 Chinese Wisdom...

1. Perjalanan seribu mil diawali dengan sebuah langkah.

2. Sebuah batu permata tidak bisa dipoles tanpa gesekan, seperti halnya seorang manusia disempurnakan dengan cobaan hidup.

3. Lebih baik menyalakan lilin daripada mengutuk kegelapan.

4. Yang bertanya seperti orang bodoh selama lima menit lebih baik daripada yang tidak bertanya, karena ia tetap bodoh selamanya.

5. Jika Anda ingin tak seorang pun mengetahuinya,jangan melakukannya.

6. Berikan seseorang seekor ikan, dan anda memberinya makan untuk sehari. Ajarkan seseorang untuk menangkap ikan, dan anda memberinya makan utk seumur hidup.

7. Waktu terbaik untuk menanam sebuah pohon adalah dua puluh tahun yang lalu. Waktu terbaik kedua : mulailah hari ini.

8. Bila Anda ingin tahu masa lalu Anda - lihatlah kondisi Anda saat ini. Bila Anda ingin tahu masa depan Anda - lihatlah tindakan2 Anda saat ini.

9. Sebuah pembicaraan dgn seorang bijak adalah lebih baik drpada sepuluh tahun menuntut ilmu.

10. Hidup sebagian ada-lah apa yg kita tentukan, dan sebagian lagi ditentukan oleh teman-teman yang kita pilih.:):).

Monday, August 16, 2010

Cewek Batak : Merokok, Nyanyi Lagu Rohani

Nemuin judul "menarik" di mailing-list sebelah. Capcus ik klik dong ah. Ternyata isinya memang menarik. :)

___________________________________________________

HORAS BANGSO BATAK

Jakarta, Sabtu,14 Agustus 2010

Pengalaman Hari ini

Tadi siang muter-muter nyari makan siang. Berhubung kebanyakan warung di jalanan pada tutup, akhir saya dan teman memutuskan makan di rumah makan khas Batak alias Lapo yang cukup dikenal di Jakarta. Dengan nikmat kami memakan santapan daging yang tidak halal dalam versi panggang dan saksang.

Tiba-tiba mata saya melihat seorang cewe yang juga sedang nonkrong di laposambil makan siang. Ada kemungkinan ybs seorang boru Batak, masih muda. Ybs sambil merokok duduk dengan rekan-rekannya yang menurut pengamatan saya juga halak hita,alai nunga ama-ama.

Kemudian dia tampil mendekati sang kyboris untuk kemudian bernyanyi (kebetulandi lapo tersebut tersedia kyboard+pemain). Cukup terkejut ketika yang dinyanyikan ternyata lagurohani Kristen.

Etahe, sai adong-adong do ulahon akka anak boru saonari ate. Boa do menurut pengamatan akka dongan (pecinta sigaret/ anti sigaret/Muda Batak/ Mudi Batak/Kristen/ Muslim)?

Salam Kasih,

(name deleted by me)

________________________________________________________________

Hehe, aku jadi terkekeh2 baca e-mailnya. Persis kayak ibu2yg doyan gunjingin orang. Kesalahan yg keliatan di mata pasti langsung diikuti dgn judgement2 yg menurutku terlalu jauh. Aku nggak akan bilang merokok itu bener,but please jgn pernah cepet2 menghakimi orang lain. Begitu nemuin kesalahan orang, jari kyknya cepet bener menunjuk, seakan2 orang itu adlh mahluk paling hina yang pernah ada. :-)

Masih banyak sekali bentuk2 perilaku yg kecil maupun besar yg bisa mencoreng agama maupun suku, yg saking udah "pasaran"-nya jadi udah terlalu kita toleransi. Bisa korupsi, bisa selingkuh, atau bisa juga "cuma" kebiasaan"jam karet" yg sudah mendarah daging. Kalau dipikir2, itu kan sbnrnya salah satu bentuk tidak menghargai orang lain. Apa itu lebih baik? Nggak juga yaa kayaknya. :-)

Satu lagi, kenapa mesti digarisbawai "boru"-nya yah? Apakah kemudian bobot kesalahannya akan berkurang kalau baoa yang merokok? Hehe, hari gini jgn gender ah.

So, apapun bentuk "kesalahan"-nya, kalau bisa kita kita kasih inget scr lgsg, knp nggak? But first of all, mari berkaca, dan lakukan sesedikit mungkin perilaku yang bisa "mencoreng" agama, ras, dan kemanusiaan.

Have a nice day, dongans... :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

"Thanks, Guys...." (inspired by Disney's "Toy Story 3")

Yep, that’s my most touchy line in the movie. Watched it twice, and it still got me crying into tears.

Seeing Andy said “Thanks, guys…” to Woody and all the toys he’d left behind really touched my heart. Two words that telling a lot about his feeling. Being grateful for all the memories, being grateful for all the laughs, thanking someone for being such a great friend, thanking them for all the good times and the bad times they’ve been through. Ahh, don’t you have your own “Woody”, guys?

I remembered so many people in my past life seeing those movie-ending scenes. Maybe you did, too. We’ve met so many people in our lives. We’ve done so many things with them. Some people are still here, some don’t. Some were there for a long times, some might be there for only a very short time. We might know them in a “regular” way or in the most “absurd” way that we could think of. However, they were there, being a part of our histories.

But whatever it is, it’s another time for me to be grateful. So many people have brought me precious times in my life. They bring laughter, they bring happiness, they bring acceptance, they bring ideas, they bring attentions, they bring helps, they bring supports, they bring comfort, so I can enjoy my life more and more, they also give me problems so I can learn something in the end, they also bring confrontation so I can open my mind wider than before, they also bring pain so I can be stronger. Without all of them, I won’t be who I am now.

So.....thanks, guys.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

metamorph (via @TobingChristine)

I used to be an ignorant to my physical appearance. I used to call myself "unique". I shouted that I didn't need those "beauty". #metamorph

People found that my beauty ignorant as something full of confidence, as I boldly defined myself differ than others. So did I. #metamorph
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In fact, I was too affraid being compared to others. I tought I wasn't good enough. I didn't need anybody to prove me so! #metamorph

Many things happen and mold me. Now I enjoy looking good. I'm not affraid people would compare my beauty to others. #metamorph

Now I enjoy when people admiring my beauty. I enjoy those compliments. Hey, who wouldn't? We deserve that. #metamorph

Don't think that I need those make-ups as my only way to gain people's respect. Not really. I just enjoying myself here. #metamorph

Not snobbish. I'm just enjoying the new me. The more self-confident me. I learned that I'm just as good as anybody, nothing less. #metamorph

Monday, April 19, 2010

It's a Blessing for Being Healthy...

Have you ever looked up and seen the stars on purpose? Have you ever realized how mighty He is when we see His marvelous works? Well, I have, but not that often. Pemandangan yang terlalu “biasa” untuk disyukuri. Kadang kita lupa mengucap syukur untuk hal-hal yang sudah “biasa” kita miliki. Contoh paling sederhana adalah ketika kita bangun di pagi hari. Sudah terlalu biasa, bukan? Kita lupa bahwa setiap hari baru yang boleh kita jalani saja sudah merupakan berkat yang luar biasa.

Kotbah tadi sore mengingatkan kami untuk selalu mengucap syukur dalam segala hal. Untuk sebuah kondisi, setiap orang memiliki pilihan respon yang berbeda2. Amang pendeta memberi sebuah contoh, bagaimana respon negative yang diberikan seseorang tidaklah lebih membawa hasil yang positif terhadap sesuatu. Dibandingkan respon marah2 dan mengeluh, sebenarnya ada banyak hal yang bisa disyukuri.

Pertanyaan yang cukup membuat gue refleksi, adakah hal yang bisa disyukuri ketika kita sakit? Adakah hal yang bisa disyukuri ketika menjadi seorang pengangguran? Adakah hal yang dapat kita syukur ketika kita sulit bertemu dengan jodoh kita? Dll.

Gue melihat ke sekeliling. So many people. Kami semua pasti memiliki tantangan masing2. Ada banyak pemuda yang masih duduk di bangku kuliah, yang mungkin sedang menghadapi masa2 kuliah yang cukup berat. Ada sarjana2 muda yang mungkin sedang berjuang menemukan pekerjaan. Ada banyak perantau yang sedang berjuang bagi dirinya dan mungkin bagi keluarganya di kampong. Ada para pekerja yang mungkin sedang sibuk membagi waktu antara pekerjaan dan keluarga. Ada para pria dan wanita single yang mungkin sedang bertanya2 mengapa sulit sekali menemukan pasangan hidup. Ada para orang tua yang mungkin sedang khawatir dengan pendidikan anak2nya. Ada orang tua yang sedang mendoakan anaknya lekas menikah, ataupun memiliki keturunan. Ataupun sebaliknya, ada anak2 yang sedang menghadapi kendala untuk dapat membahagiakan orang tuanya. Ada pasangan yang sedang mengalami masalah dalam rumah tangganya. Ada juga orang2 tertentu yang sedang berjuang melawan penyakit, baik ringan maupun berat.

Selain beragam tantangan itu, gue juga percaya kami semua juga memiliki kebahagiaan yang beragam. Kebahagiaan-kebahagiaan yang dapat kami syukuri dalam hidup ini. Hal-hal biasa yang sebenarnya luar biasa, jika kita menjadi seseorang yang suka mengucap syukur (asal jgn jadi cepat berpuas diri yaa). I don’t know what they have in mind. But I did have so many things in mind. Gak usah jauh2. Pengalaman gue hari ini aja sudah cukup bikin gue tersedu2 (hahaa, rajin amat nangis yaakk).

Pagi tadi gue bangun dengan dua symptom penyakit yang cukup mengkhawatirkan. Sangat mengkhawatirkan tepatnya. Jangka panjang. Sbnrnya merka tidak baru muncul hari ini. Tp keduanya menjadi lebih parah pada waktu yang bersamaan. Mood gue pun berubah. My depressive mode was on. I felt wanna cry, but I didn’t even know why.

Secara fisik, gue drop. Rasanya pengen istirahat aja, gak kuat ke mana2. Tp gw sangat kebingungan krn gue harus pelayanan di ibadah sore, yaitu sbg pianis ibadah dan conduct choir pemuda. Utk jadi pianis ibadah, gue coba cari ganti, tp gak nemu. Tp pasangan maen (sang organis) bersedia main sendiri kalopun gue bener2 gak kuat berangkat. So, one thing was done. Tapi utk urusan choir pemuda ini, gue gak tega bgt. Kmrn2 gw udah bolos2 krn bentrok sm kegiatan lain. Masa udah mau pelayanan pun gue gak bantu. Kalo nyanyinya jelek gw ngerasa bertanggung jawab bgt. Akhirnya brangkatlah gw utk latihan sm mereka sblm ibadah. Dibela2in walopun fisik lg lemah, dibela2in brangkat duluan gak bareng org rumah (pdhl bisa cuma 1 mobil kalo brangkat barengan). Begitu udah mau sampe, gw di-SMS. Choir batal nyanyi. Kecewa? Ya. Tapi ya sudahlah, udah kepalang tanggung. Beberapa teman bertanya, kenapa nggak pulang aja. Ntah kenapa gue ngerasa gak pingin pulang. Gue pengen bergereja. Gue sangat yakin ketidaksengajaan ini pasti salah satu cara Tuhan untuk menyampaikan sesuatu kepada gue.

Ketika term kesehatan sedang sangat mengkhawatirkan gue, ternyata yang khotbah adlh salah seorang pendeta favorit gue, yang memang sedang banyak melayani di rumah sakit. Gue mengenal beliau salah satunya sebagai pelayan yang tidak pernah lelah berkunjung dan mendoakan orang-orang sakit. He did it again this evening. He didn’t have to go anywhere. He just stood there and be His instrument. He’s already been a blessing for me. I’m sure for everybody else.

Gue nggak tau mau share apa sbnrnya di sini. Ada 2 hal sbnrnya. Satu, isi khotbahnya sendiri, kedua bahwa betapa Tuhan tahu exactly what I need. He gave me exactly what I need when I didn’t ask for it. Amazing, eh? Soo, whatever it is, I just felt so blessed that I need to share. It’s the least I can do, right? Find your blessings. Share your blessings. Be blessed! Happy Sunday, friends…

Las taende hon ma...

1. Bila kulihat bintang gemerlapan dan bunyi guruh riuh kudengar,
ya Tuhanku, tak putus aku heran melihat ciptaanMu yang besar.
Maka jiwaku pun memujiMu: “Sungguh besar Kau, Allahku!”
Maka jiwaku pun memujiMu: “Sungguh besar Kau, Allahku!”

2. Ya Tuhanku, pabila kurenungkan pemberianMu dalam Penebus,
‘ku tertegun: bagiku dicurahkan oleh PutraMu darahNya kudus.
Maka jiwaku pun memujiMu: “Sungguh besar Kau, Allahku!”
Maka jiwaku pun memujiMu: “Sungguh besar Kau, Allahku!”

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Happiness is.....

“Happiness is two kinds of ice cream, finding your skate key, telling the time. Happiness is learning to whistle, tying your shoe for the very first time….”

Simple words. Simple music. Brought me back to childhood, when life was much easier. Very simple. We found happiness in so many very simple things. The memory of the simplicity of my childhood was touching me. What a beautiful song sung by Lea Salonga and his brother Gerard Salonga.

Then it reminds me to so many simple yet beautiful things in life that we sometimes forget to be grateful at. The burden of our adulthood sometimes weighs me in some ways. They keep hurting in many ways we can’t escape.

May we won’t forget how to be happy for all those beautiful things we have in life. Simple laughs, chit-chat with friends, playful times, simple achievements, getting something we dreamed of since we’re small, old friends, new friends, co-workers, neighbors, enemies, brothers, sisters, parents, all who have brought smile in our life. :-)

Here’s the lyrics of the song…

HAPPINESS
by Clark Gesner
from " You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Lea:
You know some kids ask us what happiness really is.
Well, to me happiness is a hamburger, going to the movies, new clothes.
Well, what's your happiness, gerard?

Gerard:
My happiness is a hotdog sandwich, new rubber shoes, new t-shirts,
New jeans and also my favorite part of happiness is love.

Lea:
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Finding your skate key, telling the time
Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying your shoe for the very first time
Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand in hand

Gerard:
Happiness is five different crayons
Knowing a secret, climbing a tree
Happiness is finding a nickel
Catching a firefly, setting him free
Happiness is being alone every now and then
And happiness is coming home again

Lea:
Happiness is morning and evening

Gerard:
Daytime and nighttime, too

Both:
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you

Gerard:
Happiness is having a sister

Lea:
Sharing a sandwich

Both:
Getting along
Happiness is singing together when day is through
And happiness is those who sing with you

Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nighttime, too
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you

Friday, March 26, 2010

Giving and Receiving : Circle of Kindness

The Circle of Giving and Receiving

Anonymous giving and acts of kindness can lead the giver to a very lonely place in the universe. Like the Lone Ranger or some other disguised hero, we do kind things all the time and so often the people on the receiving end don’t see it or don’t recognize it.

Living a life of altruism, in its most ideal form, means setting the ego aside and not doing what we do for credit. Usually, I have no problem with this at all. But there are those days, perhaps when I’m feeling a little weak or drained, where I find myself feeling lonely with it all, feeling like I’m giving, giving, giving, to a world that is in super receiving mode and asleep to what’s being done for them. I get a little discouraged.

Even idealized heroes had their inner circle of friends who knew who they really were and what their life was all about. The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Batman had Robin and his butler, Alfred. You get the picture. Being truly altruistic means we do what we do without expectation for credit or recognition. Otherwise, it’s not truly altruistic. But at some point, we have to be good receivers to continue to be effective givers.

I remember shortly after my first child was born that my wife and I reached a point where we were really struggling to make ends meet. We both had jobs but the pay was very meager. We were both doing work that we loved doing and we were really caught up in the magic of being new parents. But a financial reality burst our bubble one day.We had nothing left in savings, and bills that were due, some overdue, could not be met.

We talked with other people about our dire circumstances. We got a lot of sympathy but we were still feeling a lot of stress and not coming up with any solutions. And then it happened. I opened the front door one morning and found a plain white envelope tucked inside the screen door. Inside the envelope was $100 dollars. I felt this tremendous sense of energy swell up within me, surrounding me like a great, warm comforter. Some kind soul anonymously gave what felt like an awful lot of money to me then. They obviously didn’t want credit for their generosity and to this day I’ve never known for certain who it was.

In those days, that $100 would have just about paid for a month’s rent. And even though it wasn’t enough to make good on all of our bills, receiving the money gave us such a sense of relief and humbleness to be blessed by some great kindness of a friend who wanted no credit from us whatsoever. We made it through that dark time, not so much from the money we’d been given, but by realizing how powerful an act of anonymous generosity can be.

I’ve paid that act of kindness forward over and over many times. And even being the veteran giver that I consider myself to be, my mind still swings like a pendulum between the extremes of totally selfless giving and the need to receive something in return occasionally. Despite the back and forth energy of the momentum that is created, my sense is that I am ever moving forward through a world that often feels thankless and uncaring. I am constantly aware that there have probably been countless occasions when I have been the receiver of many acts of kindness from others who may have been aware of what they were doing even though I was asleep to their gift.

I am committed to being more awake to what’s going on around me and to showing my gratitude whenever possible for any act of kindness given, even if it’s as small a thing as someone holding open a door for me. Living a life of kindness is like breathing: for every breath out, there has to be a breath back in. That isn’t about ego. It’s about staying alive and being fully human. Now, let’s get back to it. Hi, ho, Silver, away!

Author : Unknown
Retrieved from http://inspiringmessages.blogspot.com/2009/03/giving-and-receiving-circle-of-kindness.html

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=380210339274

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Memberi di Saat Paceklik? Susaahh!

Jadi orang miskin emang gak enak. Jangankan miskin materi. Miskin hati aja nggak enak banget. Miskin jiwa, miskin spirit, miskin semangat. Hasilnya? Dahsyat! Menjalani hari tanpa rasa semangat. Rutinitas.

I admit, belakangan ini situasi ini cukup melingkupi hari-hari gue. Tidak sedih. Tidak negative. Hanya 0. Flat. Datar. No spirit. Alasannya? Simpel sih. Belakangan ini rasanya “tiba-tiba” segala aspek kehidupan menjadi mengkhawatirkan. Mulai dari love life (ini always bukan? *lebay*), relationship (ada sorg teman yg memutuskan utk memutuskan tali pertemanan dengan gue), work life (ada masalah dgn salah satu instansi tempat gue mengajar), financial life (itung-itungan rencana gue ke depan ternyata butuh budget besar, and where am I now??), dan terutama health life (saat ini ada sebuah kondisi yang sangat mengkhawatirkan gue). Lengkap!

“Christine ‘Obi’ Tobing found it’s hard to stand in front of so many people time after time, giving my heart, mind, and all capability to teach. It’s so hard filling their “cup” while mine is actually “empty”. Whishing for a sincere heart to be able to give more of me.” Itu adalah status FB gue minggu lalu. Gue tulis karena waktu itu gue telah menjalani minggu yang cukup sulit. Gue harus terus mengajar pagi, sore, malam, weekdays, even weekends. Bertemu dengan banyak sekali orang. Saat itu gue pun harus diakui bahwa cukup sulit menjadi seorang guru. Kita dituntut untuk terus “memberi”. Bukan hanya bertanggung jawab atas pengetahuan yang kita berikan, tapi juga semangat, motivasi, serta perhatian penuh untuk mau membenarkan apa kita temukan masih salah. Terlebih lagi, bahkan kita pun harus membuat mereka enjoy dengan situasi itu! Gue rasa kita semua setuju kalau gue bilang dibutuhkan hati yang besar untuk melakukan semua itu. (Actually bisa aja sih. Tapi gue pribadi sangat kagum ketika melihat pengajar2 yang sungguh2 melakukan itu dari hatinya. Admire them so much!)

Ketika ada yang bertanya, “Obi, how could you fill the people’s cup, when u feel so empty inside?” Ternyata dia butuh saran krn ternyata dia pun mengalami hal yang sama. It took me some while buat mikir jawabannya. Coz actually I didn’t do it on a conscious purpose. Sebelum memulai rasanya gue mau teriakk, “Oh Good, help me! I can’t do it!!! I have nothing to give. :(“ Tapi kenapa gue memutuskan utk tetap mengajar di masa-masa “paceklik” itu? Well, sebagian aktifitas mengajar gue memang adalah kerja prof. So, kita tau lahh konsekuensinya kalo gue nggak ngajar. Tapi selain itu, gue sadar sekali bahwa mereka mengharapkan “sesuatu” dari gue. Kemajuan mereka banyak sekali dipengaruhi oleh gue. Belon lagi kalo mengingat pengorbanan mereka untuk datang latihan. Bikin kita nggak boleh egois. It’s not all about us (teachers). Akhirnya, hal-hal itulah yang tetap membuat gue menginjakkan kaki di tempat mengajar, baik itu yang memang pekerjaan maupun yang berupa pelayanan (agama).

But surprisingly, it ended this way : they’re the ones who fill my cup! The joy of teaching. Ngeliat mereka “dapet” sesuatu cukup bikin kita bahagia. Ntah itu berupa kemajuan secara teknik bernyanyi, pendalaman materi, atau bahkan hanya sekedar rasa sukacita ketika mengikuti latihan. Kaki yang berat ketika melangkah masuk berubah menjadi langkah ringan ketika meninggalkan tempat-tempat itu. Belum lagi ketika terungkap kalimat-kalimat rasa syukur karena memiliki gue sebagai pelatih dalam doa-doa penutup latihan. Huff, what could be more beautiful than that?

Ketika gue menjawab pertanyaan teman gue itu, suddenly gue merasa diingatkan dengan hukum “memberi”. Ternyata memang semuanya harus kita yang mulai. Memberi dulu dehh, nanti juga semuanya akan dilimpahkan sama kita. (Thanks again, Ran, for asking.)

Hari Minggu yang lalu (14/3/2010) ntah kenapa kaki gue melangkah lagi ke gereja sore. Padahal gue udah gereja pagi. Mungin karena gue ngerasa kurang puas dengan kotbah ibadah pagi itu kali yaa. Kok gue berasanya kurang “dapet” sesuatu. Tapi tetep ajaa, hampir nggak pernah gue bergereja dua kali kalo bukan karena memang ada jadwal pelayanan. Hohoo, finally I knew why. Ternyata salah satu point yang diangkat oleh amang pendeta itu adlh tentang “memberi”. What a co-incidence! God’s-incidence! Di situ dia ngingetin lagi bahwa jangan menunggu untuk memberi. Memberi tidak hanya ketika kita dalam kondisi berkecukupan. Melayani tidak hanya ketika kita sedang bahagia. Memberilah tanpa rasa pamrih. Jangan hanya berharap diberi, tapi mulailah memberi. Jangan berharap dimengerti jika kita tidak mau mengerti orang lain. Jangan berharap dihargai ketika kita pun tidak menghargai orang lain.

I was totally speeches. I cried. Yes, I cried so hard. I realized sometimes it’s soo hard to do it. But I just whisphered softly, “Yes God, give me a sincere heart to give more of me…”

(Was published in Facebook Notes section on Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 3:37pm)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=378395049274

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again.

A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.

But the Hindu said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"

Don't give up loving
Don't give up your goodness
Even if people around you sting

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=371937734274

Friday, March 12, 2010

A Girl...

When a Girl is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a Girl is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a Girl looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a Girl answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not atallfine.
When a Girl stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a Girl lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a Girl wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a Girl says ' I love you ' ... she means it.
When a Girl says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person....
Find a Guy...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who ...kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding youof how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Who turnsto his friends and says, ' That's her!!'

Sunday, March 07, 2010

I'm Sorry, Can't Resist It. Love You So Much!

No one has ever touched my heart like you do.
No such happiness as the one I feel when I’m with you.
You filled my cold heart with indescribable warmth.
You brought joy in a single glimpse.

No words needed.
I just sat there with you.
With my eyes closed.
Letting you in, so deeply.

No more tears.
No more loneliness.
No more hatred.
No more despair.

You’re such an extacy.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
Our breath became one.
I lost my consciousness.

History revealed.
I’ve been kept it for so long.
Desire no longer can be hide.

No matter what people would say.
No matter how hard it would be for me.
I can’t help it.
I’m in love.
I’m totally hooked.

I’ve decided.
I’ll bring the best of me.
I’ll make myself ready for you.
Give me a year.
Then I’ll be your bride.

I’m gonna learn.
To make a good music.
For people to enjoy.
And fall in love with you like what I feel right now.

Yeah, I’m gonna be the singing pianist.
Wait for me….my lovely Jazz Music
We’re gonna be such a perfect couple!
Can’t wait ‘till I’m declared as The Jazz-Singing-Pianist.

Yeah, tonight I’m falling in love again with the marvelous thing called “Jazz”

(Experienced in the BlackCat Jazz Super Club, 6 March 2010, 10pm – 1am, performance by Abe Simpson and friends. Thanks for inviting me tonight, Mas. Forgot to say that just did.)

Friday, March 05, 2010

Pria Pecicilan...

"OBI, 29 thn
Gak suka cowok pecicilan"

Gitu bacaan profil gue di layar TV Take Me Out. Gw jg bingung, knp mesti term itu yg dipilih sm org Fremantel buat dijadiin tambahan identitas gw.

Once somebody asked me, knp gw gak suka dgn pria pecicilan. Saat itu gw cm menjawab seadanya, bhw gw prefer pria yg sedikit bicara, tp sekalinya bicara meaningful bgt.

Tp skrg ini gw kyknya punya penjelasan lebih deh. Mau tau knp? *Mauuu!* Baiklah. Gw sndr gak tau apa sbnrnya definisi dr pecicilan. Tp kurang lebih, kecenderungan2 di bawah inilah yg gw hindari:
1. Org yg byk bicara blon tentu "isi"nya jg berkualitas. Mending yg sedikit ngomong, tp "berisi". Krn mnrt gw gak semua hal harus diekspresikan keluar. Ada hal2 yg sebaiknya disimpen baik2 dulu, baru kalo saatnya tepat, dikeluarkan. Krn kl terlalu diobral di awal, smntr kenyataan nantinya gak bgitu, yg ada ntar cuma "omong doang" doong. :(
2. Pecicilan biasanya byk gerakan. Gerakan2 itu ditujukan utk menarik perhatian org. Tipe org yg senang menjadi pusat perhatian cenderung kurang peka sm orang lain. Self-centered. Everything is about him.
3. Mnrt gw org yg byk bergerak punya spontanitas yg cukup tinggi. Mereka cepat tanggap thd sesuatu. Sounds good. Tp kl gak hati2, cenderung gegabah dlm merespon sesuatu. Terlalu emosional. Respon sekecil apapun seharusnya melewati proses berpikir, shg gak cuma "meledak" begitu aja. Pria yg spt ini biasanya lebih wise ketika menghadapi suatu masalah. Lebih tenang, gak maen lgsg bertindak dan berkata2 atas dorongan emosi sesaat.

So, actually I don't mind with cowok pecicilan, as long as mereka gak punya 3 kecenderungan di atas. Tp apakah mungkin? Kenyataannya, yg gak pecicilan aja byk jg yg punya kecenderungan2 itu.

Ayoo, teman2, pd inget gaakk selama ini pria2 macem apa yg selalu bikin gw pengen telanjaang? Bukan pria2 ganteng. Bukan pria2 kaya. Tp pria2 wise, pria2 smart, pria2 yg di tengah2 permasalahan, ketika org2 dipenuhi emosi negatif, datang dengan kepala dingin dan aura positif, kemudian memberi solusi yg cerdas. Auuwwww!

Kalo dipikir2, mungkin itu sebabnya gw selalu jatuh hati sama pria2 yg lebih tua kali yaa? Kematangan emosional yg kyk gitu(terutama no 3) jarang ada di pria2 seumur gw, apalagi yg lbh muda.

Sjk SMA aja gw gak prnh tertarik sm tmn seusia. Yg ada ada gw malah sibuk mengagumi pria yg umurnya 7-8 thn di atas gw! Akhirnya sampe skrg, yg deket sm gw biasanya minimal 5 thn lbh tua dr gw. Huhh, masi ada gak sehh, laki2 yg kyk gitu yg blon "taken"? Pria2 matang sungguh membuat hormon2ku yg sudah mulai desperate ini bergejolak. :p

(Was published in Facebook Notes section on Friday, March 5, 2010 at 11:06am)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=344411644274

Monday, March 01, 2010

May You All Have a Wonderful Journey in Life……..No Matter How Hard It Is

It’s a beautiful morning. I woke up at 3 am to do some work. It’s kinda achievement for me, an absolutely-not-a-morning-person type. But I close my eyes, and imagining what’s going on out there, outside my house, outside my area, outside my city, outside my country. So many people have started their days much earlier than this.

Few days I ago, I got a chance to talk with one of the office-boy at school. He’s the youngest OB there. He’s born in 1989. He’s quite good-looking, have to admit. I’m quite shocked. I have no idea that he’s that young. Gue ngebandingin dia dengan murid2 (atau mantan murid) gue yg lain yang seusianya. Apa yg sedang mereka lakukan? Apa yg sedang dia lakukan? Di kala teman-teman seusianya sedang sibuk menempa ilmu, ia sedang sibuk bertahan hidup. Ketika teman-teman seusianya sedang mempelajari ilmu pengetahuan yg lebih tinggi untuk bekal hidupnya di masa yg akan datang, he doesn’t even know what the word “privacy” means. Dibandingkan OB2 lainnya, ternyata rumahnya paling jauh. Dia harus brangkat jam 4 pagi, jalan kaki, kemudian menghabiskan waktu setengah jam naik motor untuk ke stasiun, naek kereta, dan kemudian menuju sekolah dari stasiun, dan tiba sekitar pukul 6.30. Utk bisa sampai lebih cepat, dia harus bangun jam 3. WTF?!? (Gue bahkan seringkali baru tidur jam segitu!) Pulangnya pun demikian. Dia biasa baru meninggalkan sekolah jam 6. Turun kereta biasa jam 8 lewat, dan total2 sampai rumah jam 9. Oh no, what kind of life he has?

I still close my eyes. Mungkin di luar sana ada yang sedang menangis saat ini. Mungkin hatinya sedang luka. Mungkin hidupnya terlalu berat. Aku kenal seseorang anak yang di usianya yg dini sedang menderita penyakit kanker stadium 3. Instead of membantu menguatkan mental si anak, si ibu malah menyukuri keadaan anaknya tersebut, dan bahkan malah memaki2 ayahnya (suaminya) di depan anak dan dokter. Dia menyalahkan suaminya atas segala keadaan buruk ini, krn dia yakin suaminya punya cewek simpenan di luar sana. Jd seperti menyukuri kalo anaknya mati muda. (OMG, akankah gue bertahan kalo berada dlm posisi dia?) Ada yg sedang sakit, tetapi terhambat dengan biaya pengobatan yg terlalu mahal, pdhl dibutuhkan perawatan untuk membuatnya sembuh. Ada juga seorang orang muda yang kesulitan menjalani hari karena orang tuanya sedang dalam proses berpisah, dan memperebutkan hak untuk mengasuh dirinya, sehingga seringkali dia tidak bisa menduga di manakah dia akan tidur malam ini, di rumah ayahnya, ataukah di rumah ibunya. Mungkin juga sebagian kita sedang merasa kesepian. Ada yang hatinya sangat merindukan pasangan hidup. Mungkin sebagian dari kita ada yg sedang merasakan kebencian. Kepada siapapun yang menyakiti kita. Sahabat yang mengecewakan, teman yang menyakitkan hati, suami yang turns out to be not-the-man-of-my dream, pasangan yang kurang dapat mengerti kita , tuntutan orang tua yang seringkali berkedok “we want you to be the best” but in fact they’re the one who made us feel “never perfect” and finally ended by hating ourselves (watch the movie “Penelope”). Mungkin sebaliknya, di luar sana juga ada orang tua yang selalu dikecewakan anaknya. Mungkin karena penolakan mereka, mungkin karena perilaku mereka, mungkin juga karena ketidaksempurnaan yang mereka miliki, baik fisik maupun mental. I’ve met so many type of parents. Ada yang sangat tegar dan cerdas, walaupun anaknya tidak sempurna, walaupun anaknya ada yg cacat fisik, ada yang perkembangan mentalnya terhambat, ada yang kecerdasannya kurang. They have to face the fact, and live with it. Di luar sana juga aku tahu seorang anak yang tanpa disadari hatinya sedang terluka. Can you ever imagined, seorang anak menyaksikan ayahnya membunuh ibunya di depan matanya sendiri? It hurts me so much knowing it. Di luar sana aku juga ada seorang orang muda yang harus bolak-balik ke psycholog karena stress mendalam yang dimilikinya. Terkadang dia terlihat normal, tapi saat-saat tertentu ia bisa berteriak-teriak hingga pingsan, dan bahkan tidak sadarkan diri walaupun secara fisik dia tidak pingsan. What made her? Parents (I know them so well). One of them is absolutely not we want our parents to be. Absolutely abnormal. Aku yakin nggak ada satupun dari kita yang 100% waras, tetapi kadar ketidakwarasannya ibunya sangatlah tinggi. Tapi, terima atau tidak, kenyataannya, dari beliaulah dia dilahirkan. Nothing can change that.

Let’s take a deep breath.
And see ourselves.
What kind of life we have?
How hard is it?
How happy is it?

Friends, life might be hard in some ways. Hidup kita punya masalahnya masing2. Semua kondisi di atas yang gue sebutkan adalah real. I know all of them. Sebagian dari kita sudah hampir gagal. I know some people yang sudah melakukan langkah real untuk bunuh diri (ntah memang berniat bunuh diri, atau memang somewhere deep inside their heart, mereka hanya butuh diperhatikan), ada sebagian yang melarikan diri ke hal-hal destruktif lainnya, ada yang akhirnya sudah gak bisa mengendalikan emosinya, seperti kerabat yang sudah menjadi pasien rutin psikolog di atas. It's so sad seeing some of us are failing. :(

Friends, how hard it is, let’s keep our sanity. We need it to get out of here. Don’t let our problems take it. Do whatever might help us. Find a way! Cry if you want to! Shout in crazy-like way if you want to! Have fun like there’re no other day to do it! Laugh and enjoy every fun moment with all our heart! But remember, keep the sanity!!! And never hurt ourselves!!! Dear, I’ve always said that there’re no such thing called “perfect life”. We have our own un-perfectness in life. Bisa besar, bisa kecil, tapi ketika kita di dalamnya, semua memang terasa berat. Let's do something about it!

It’s a brand new day. Let’s heal our heart, think, and do something good for our lives. May you have a good day, my friends. May you have a wonderful journey in life... *hug*

(Was posted in Facebook Notes section on Monday, March 1, 2010 at 3:54am)
www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=335099239274

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dear, Pop....



(Was posted in Facebook Notes section on Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 11:39am)

Have you ever imagined the idea of having an autistic-daddy? I watched the movie “Dear John” last night at Blitzmegaplex. Selain Channing Tatum yang luarrrr biasa menggugah selera (!!!) sampe bikin duduk gue gelisah (LoL), alur yang menceritakan hubungan dia dengan ayahnya bener2 bikin gue nangisss habis2an. Gilaa, keluar bioskop kok ya mata bengkak2? Hahaa! Dua orang temen di sebelah kanan gue sibuk update status, dan di kiri gue sibuk memantau berapa liter aer mata keluar. Huhh! Kenapa siihhh, gak bisa liat orang seneng ajaahh. :p

"Dear John" tells the story of John Tyree (Channing Tatum), a young soldier home on leave, and Savannah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried), the idealistic college student he falls in love with during her spring vacation. Over the next seven tumultuous years, the couple is separated by John’s increasingly dangerous deployments. While meeting only sporadically, they stay in touch by sending a continuous stream of love letters overseas--correspondence that eventually triggers fateful consequences. (Retrieved from http://www.themovieinsider.com/m3979/dear-john/ on 21/02/2010)

Overall film-nya biasa banget. I’ll put just 3 stars out of 5. Alurnya ketebak, penokohan juga kurang oke, ngebangun emosinya juga kurang, jadi banyak bagian2 jadinya seperti terlalu berlebihan dan bikin kita mikir, “Lahh? Harus gitu yaa?” Hahaa, soalnya ceritanya mereka butuh itu buat ngebangun cerita ke belakangnya. Yahh, kasi dehh.

Sebenarnya inti ceritanya adalah tentang si John Tyree dengan Savannah. Salah satu hal yang menambah kedekatan mereka adalah kemampuan Savannah untuk mengerti ayah John. Selama bertahun-tahun hubungan John dan ayahnya semakin memburuk dan dingin. Gak sampai bertengkar sih. Tp dinginnya suasana di antara mereka cukup bikin nyesek juga. John ngerasa ayahnya tidak mengerti dia. Kondisi yang sungguh membuat keduanya tidak bahagia. John nggak sadar kalo kondisi ayahnya yang demikian terjadi karena memang ada alasannya, hingga Savannah berhasil membaca situasi. Menurut Savannah, ayahnya menderita semacam autism ringan.

Adegan yang paliiingg paliinggg bikin gue piluuuu adalah ketika sang ayah mau berangkat bersama John dan Savannah ke rumah orang tua Savannah. Oh ya, hubungan John dan ayahnya ceritanya sudah lebih menghangat nih. Tapi tetep, semua hal-hal rutin dan terpola memang sudah gak bisa berubah. Seperti menu makanan, penempatan benda2 di rumah, dll. Sebagai penderita autisme, ia sangat nyaman dengan segala pengulangan pola dan ketaraturan. Sedikit perubahan saja bisa memhasilkan ketidaknyamanan buat dia. John awalnya sempat kaget bahwa ayahnya mau brangkat. Ayahnya sudah lama sekali tidak pernah pergi dari rumah. Kini dia mau pergi ke tmpt 'baru'? Well, tapi di tengah jalan, sang ayah mulai gelisah dan panic, sampai2 dia mau loncat dari mobil. Hiks, ternyata dia gak sanggup. Akhirnya di tengah jalan mereka berhenti dan akhirnya mengantarkannya kembali ke rumah. Savannah bilang. “Well, John, at least he tried.” Gue langsung berdesis, “Yes…”

Beruntunglah mereka yang memiliki image ayah yang ideal di mata mereka. Tapi bagi mereka yang tidak, tentu rasanya banyak penolakan, banyak kebencian, banyak ketidakpuasan atas situasi itu. Tidak ideal bukan berarti ayah-ayah itu tidak sayang sama anak2nya. Ayah John terlihat bahwa dia sebenarnya sangat menyayangi John. Tapi mungkin yah memang dia tidak punya kemampuan untuk ungkapin itu. Terkadang kita memang sulit membaca hal yang tidak terlihat itu. Ooh, but it was so touching seeing him trying. . Then we know the he (they) loves us., but, yes, daddies has their weaknesses. It’s like hearing them saying, “You know I love you, child. Forgive me for not being a perfect father...”

(whispering softly) “Dear, Pop...I love you!”

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Batavia Madrigal Singers Slovenia (1 Video)

This is one of the song that we sang at "The 10th International Choir Competition Maribor 2009" in Maribor, Slovenia.  The sompetition is 1 of the 6 committees of the European Grand Prix for Choral Singing, the most prestigious international choir competition in the world.  


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love Gift...


A Pre-Menstruation Syndrome and a gloomy Valentine’s day should’ve been a very deadly combination for a single lady like me! Hoho! But surprisingly, I’m feeling so blessed these days. It’s started when I watched the “Valentine’s Day” movie (hahaa, yeahh….it’s always started with a movie experience! :p). I watched the movie alone, with a gloomy feeling. Felt terrible at the beginning. Some people were surprised, how could I watch that kind of movie alone? That’s the kind of movie that you’d like to share with someone you love! But I kinda need that at that time. Besides I needed to do something while waiting for something, I also needed something to put more love in my heart, since I felt so empty at that time.

February 14th, Valentines Day, is not a national holiday, but it is one of those days that must be celebrated. There are "special someones" in your life who expect to receive romantic gifts from their lovers. Commercialism has put a tremendous amount of pressure on men to give their lovers a romantic day with all the trimmings. Women are under pressure to have a man, or they feel desperate and unloved. Valentines Day follows the lives of several couples during this day. Their stories are told through the interconnections they have with each other. Some will find romance in their relationship, and others will feel the heartbreak of ending a relationship. In this Russian roulette world of finding love, everyone in the film is asking for advice on how to find and keep true love. Douglas Young (the-movie-guy) (Retrieved from www.imdb.com/title/tt0817230/synopsis.)

As told, there’re so many romantic time in the movie. There’re so many love, since there’re so many stories inside the movie. But the one brought me into tears were the time when a single mom met her child. She spent a 14-hours flight just to spend a day with her only child. She couldn’t have more, because of her work. The guy sat next to her on the plane was so amazed. He thought that she must’ve loved the “man” so much, that she would do such thing. She didn’t say a word about the misunderstanding. She had so much trouble during her way home. But she fought so hard just to get the precious hours with her child.

I’ve already known that “he” was not “just” a man she loved. I was so sure that it must’ve been bigger than that! But when I saw her holding her beloved son, kissed him, I kept crying and crying. I realized, there’re so many love in this world. Not just a love between a man and a woman. There’re many love surround us, the love so pure and sincere. Huff! So I left the studio with a smile on my face. I felt warm inside. Feeling blessed with all the love I get along my life journey.

Our lives do have its upside down. Hard times sometimes make us down, feeling alone, desperate. Ahh, I won’t blame myself for feeling so. We’re human. Those emotions make our life so colorful. But we have to admit, positive emotions are more relaxing than the negative ones. :p Me and you, our relationship, might also has its upside down. We had our good times, but also our bad times.

But whatever it is, so many people have brought me precious times in my life. They bring laughter, they bring happiness, they bring acceptance, they bring ideas, they bring attentions, they bring helps, they bring supports, they bring comfort, so I can enjoy my life more and more, they also give me problems so I can learn something in the end, they also bring confrontation so I can open my mind wider than before, they also bring pain so I can be stronger. Without all of them, I won’t be who I am now.

I’ve always believed that there’s no such thing called co-incidence. It’s always been God’s plan. A friend then introduce me to a new term called God’s-incidence. Hehe! I believe everybody has their own purpose in life. When He made two person met in this wide-world, it’s also means something. It’s kinda a big work, I think. So, I’m feeling very blessed. I feel so many love from so many people, parents, siblings, cousins, close friends, daily friends, old friends, new friends, lovers, ex-lovers, “enemies”, and even sometimes we do feel love from strangers. You’re all God’s instruments, and I’m thanking God for presenting you in my life, and molding me into someone better day after day.

Now, it’s my turn to share my love. Let me be His instrument. Oh yeahh, I’m in the mood for Love! Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s celebrate our Love! I love you, all…

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Public Speaking vs Public Listening (Related to My Worst Stupidity Ever!!)

Tadi pagi gue menyetir dengan tenangnya. Seperti biasa, gue mendengarkan Cosmopolitan FM. Seperti biasa juga, setiap selasa adalah sesinya Mas Reza Gunawan dengan self-healing-nya. Topik kali ini tentang “listening”, yang merupakan sesi kedua dari 4 rangkaian sesi yang bertemakan “cinta” (Februari gitu lohh. :p). Sayang sekali gue hanya bisa mendengarkan 5 menit pertama, karena gue harus segera mengajar.

Gue sangat sangat setuju dengan pembukaan (which is memang cuma pembukaan itu lah yang gue dengar) yang diutarakan oleh Mas Reza. Seorang entertainer ataupun seorang MC memang dinilai berdasarkan performance-nya dalam berbicara ataupun menghidupkan suasana. Bahkan seringkali seseorang dinilai berdasarkan kemampuannya berbicara. That’s why semua orang berlomba2 meningkatkan kemampuannya berbicara. Terbukti dari larisnya pendidikan yang berhubungan dengan public speaking. Namun sayangnya kemampuan seseorang berbicara tersebut tidak terlalu bermanfaat dalam berkomunikasi dan berinteraksi dengan pasangan. Kemampuan berbicara tersebut belum tentu berbanding lurus dengan kemampuan seseorang berkomunikasi, ketika dua orang harus duduk dan memecahkan sebuah masalah. Totally agree! Instead of improving their public speaking, sebenarnya banyak orang perlu meningkatkan kemampuan mendengarnya. Sayang gak ada sekolah public listening, hihi.

Lately term itu memang cukup menarik perhatian gue. Have to admit, sejak ikut sebuah 2 buah reality show dengan rating tertinggi di Indonsia, gue berkesempatan bertemu orang-orang yang di luar lingkungan gue yang biasanya. Menarik melihat orang yang bersedia mengeluarkan segala sisi yang menarik dari dirinya (seringkali dalam bentuk daya tarik fisik) untuk menghibur dan menarik perhatian orang lain. Ohh, that’s not so me! Gue tipe orang yang lebih menilai orang lain berdasarkan sesuatu yang tidak “terlihat” oleh mata. I’m more like an observer type, analytical type, and a listener type.

I’m trying not to think negative terhadap orang-orang yang berbeda dengan gue. Different it is. Gue melihat betapa mereka terbiasa diperhatikan orang lain, terbiasa menjadi pusat perhatian, dan selalu berusaha menampilkan impresi yang terbaik dari diri mereka. Yep, they have a big need for impressing people. I’m so sorry if this sounds like judgemental. Mungkin tidak semuanya seperti itu. Tapi menurut gue, pilihan profesi seseorang cukup bisa menggambarkan orang tersebut.

So, semakin ke belakang, gue hampir merasa yakin tidak akan cocok berpasangan dengan seorang artis ataupun entertainer. Gue sempat dekat dengan seseorang yang bertipe kepribadian seperti itu. And I feel not happy instantly! I’m so desperate trying to communicate with him. He seems doesn’t have the need to speak his mind, make people understand what he wants, what he thinks. Always expecting other people to understand him, and trying hard to read what’s in his mind and heart. That’s extremely exhausting! He also seems doesn’t have the need to know what other people’s feeling, how’s their life going, what other’s like or dislike, what other’s need of him, and so on. I think I’m not too needy for expecting myself appreciated. That’s all. I don’t wanna spend my whole life with someone who might not “notice” my presence. I have the right to be happy.

Bagaimanapun, I’m still trying to understand him. I still cannot help myself, that’s why I’m trying for find some help from other people. Itu juga yang mendorong gue untuk mengirim SMS ke Cosmopolitan tadi pagi. I said, “Dear Mas Reza, do u mind writing about this topic? I need this, tapi sayang aku harus kerja sekarang, jadi tidak bisa mendengarkan lebih lanjut. Aku kebetulan memang sedang dekat dengan seorang “banci tampil”, dan aku memang merasa desperate untuk berkomunikasi dengan dia.” Then I realized, soon after I pressed the “send” button, that I didn’t send it to Cosmopolitan FM, but I sent it to HIM instead!!! Fu***d!!! I went to the outbox to cancel it, but it was too late! It’s sent! Fu***d!!! I turned off the cell phone….’till now. So, saat ini gue tidak akan menyalakan HP dulu hingga saat yang belum ditentukan! Oh nooo, what should I dooo?!? Oh Good, make me disappear!!! Take me out of this world!!

Monday, February 08, 2010

Filipi 2 : 4

Ini bukanlah ayat utama dari kotbah hari ini. Ini hanya salah satu ayat referensi yang di-highlight oleh amang pendeta. Tp kebetulan ayat ini yg benar2 menarik perhatian gue di kebaktian tadi sore. Bener2 ayat yang bikin gue jadi terdakwa bersalah. :(

“dan janganlah tiap-tiap orang hanya memperhatikan kepentingannya sendiri, tetapi kepentingan orang lain juga."

For so long I just live my life only for myself. Gejala yang sudah terlihat sejak kecil. My brother used to love to share things with me, but I’m the opposite. Then he also stopped doing so. Well, I’m the one who’s responsible for the “cold” situation here. Gue juga bisa dibilang tidak peduli sama urusan orang lain, walaupun sebenarnya karena gue menghargai hak mereka atas privasi. So, gue tidak akan mencampuri sesuatu yang bukan urusan gue, seperti halnya gue tidak ingin urusan gue diganggu oleh orang lain. Gue juga bukan orang yang royal dalam memberi sesuatu. Gue tidak akan memberikan sesuatu secara cuma-cuma kecuali untuk alasan yang sangat jelas. Membantu orang pun gue pertimbangkan matang2, apakah situasi orang tersebut benar2 harus dibantu, atau memang harus dibiarkan sebagai bahan pembelajaran. Seperti halnya ,gue juga sebisa mungkin tidak akan meminta bantuan. Ketika gue harus meminta bantuan, maka gue merasa sangat bersalah. Intinya, indivualis bgt lah.

I still don’t think that “indivuality” is a sin. Because somehow I did that because I respect others so much. I would do my best not to cross the line. Tapi gue sadar, lama kelamaan gue menjadi orang yang super cuek sama orang lain. Gue seringkali menjadi orang yang “tidak pedulian”. Gue memiliki sedikit keinginan untuk membahagiakan secara “cuma-cuma”. Alih-alih bersifat individualis karena merasa ingin menghargai orang lain, gue malah melupakan hal-hal simple yang sebenarnya dapat membuat orang lain merasa dihargai. So, friends, family, everybody, I think I need to say sorry here. Maaf kalo gue sering gak peduli urusan ulang tahun, maaf gue sering melupakan nama, maaf gue sangat tidak suka berbasa-basi, maaf gue jarang memberikan hadiah, maaf gue sering tidak membalas SMS, maaf gue jarang memberi kabar (padahal gue yakin sedikit informasi saja akan sangat dihargai), maaf gue jarang menegur duluan, maaf gue jarang memberikan “kehangatan”, maaf gue seringkali melewatkan hari bahagia maupun hari duka teman2 gue, maaf buat segala kecuekan gue.

Lately Tuhan mempertemukan gue dengan seseorang. Had to admit, me and him more or less are alike. Well, mungkin dia kadarnya sedikit lebih parah. Dia pun mengakui kalau ternyata sudah banyak orang yang complain mengenai hal itu. Including me. Hasilnya, gue seringkali merasa tidak dihargai. Gue merasa kebutuhan gue tidak diperhatikan. Gue merasa tidak dimengerti. Well, mungkin juga karena memang gue bukanlah orang yang “special” bagi dia, but I think we don’t need to be that “special” to be appreciated, rite? We’re all special in the eyes of God (and humanism!). So, we’re all have the same rights for being appreciated. *talking to the mirror* :p

Ohh, God….I’m sorry. I think I’ve made so many people have felt terrible for the things I’ve done. Maaf kalau ternyata banyak orang merasakan apa yang gue rasakan ini, “hanya” karena gue merasa tidak butuh untuk melakukan hal-hal itu.

Mungkin memang ini maksud Tuhan mempertemukan gue dengan dia. Okay, I’ll learn. Bukan belajar untuk kepo dan melanggar batas privasi orang, tapi belajar untuk lebih memberi kepada orang lain. Belajar melayani orang lain. Belajar menghargai secara tulus, tanpa berharap sebaliknya. Jangan hanya berharap untuk dimengerti, tapi belajar juga lebih peka dengan kebutuhan orang lain.

I sure I’m not the only one here. I think we all have to learn to be that way. Segaimanapun mandirinya kita, sebagaimanapun mapannya perekonomian kita, sebagaimanapun pandainya kita, sebagaimanapun cantik atau tampannya kita, sebagaimanapun berbakatnya kita, sebagaimanapun terkenalnya kita, kita tetap berhubungan dengan manusia lain. Manusia yang semuanya adalah mahluk unik dan berharga. :-) Baik dalam urusan pekerjaan, pertemanan, apalagi berumah tangga, gue rasa kita semua pernah melihat contoh ketika ada salah seorang saja individu yang hanya memperhatikannya sendiri, tanpa memperhatikan kepentingan orang lain. I’m seeing it now, from a distance, and it hurts me so, because the other one actually deserves something better than that. So do I. So do you. Let's make some differences. Let's give our l-o-v-e for "free.". :-)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Wishing You All The Beautiful Things in Life...

Kututup pintu dengan rasa gamang. Rasanya seperti mimpi. Kau baru saja berada di depanku, setelah 5 tahun sudah kita tak bertemu. Ada sejuta rasa di sana. Ada duka, ada haru. Ada iba, ada juga rasa syukur. Ada rasa puas, ada juga rasa rindu. Berat kaki ini meninggalkanmu.

Seluruh energiku seakan terserap ketika kau jabat hangat tanganku. Hatiku kembali rapuh ketika kau tatap dalam mataku. Melebihi dari yang pernah kurasakan dulu. Baru kusadari betapa kumerindukanmu.

Gaya bicara yang khas. Kata-kata yang nyeleneh. Ledekan-ledekan penuh canda. Sindirian-sindiran kritis. Guyonan-guyonan cerdas. Dan tatapan mata yang masih sanggup membuat aku memalingkan pandangan. Ohh, sungguh membuat imaginasiku melayang ke masa lalu.

Kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama. Tak ada rasa benci. Kasih itu tetap ada. Bertahun-tahun kita berjalan terpisah. Tak bertanya kabar. Hanya beberapa kalimat mewakili setiap 365 hari yang kita jalani.

Undangan hari bahagiamu pun tak mewujudkan pertemuan kita. Ternyata kedukaan lah yang mempertemukan kita kembali. Maafkan aku. Betapa hatiku hancur melihat keadaanmu. Luka-luka sisa pengobatan. Mata sayu menahan rasa sakit. Kata-kata yang terkadang justru menunjukkan bahwa kau belum pulih sepenuhnya. Belum lagi biaya rumah sakit yang pasti sangat membebani pikiranmu.

Ingin kurentangkan tangan ini, dan memelukmu. Tapi itu tak mungkin. Di sisi sana ada seorang wanita kuat yang siap mendampingimu. Kau sudah tak butuh aku lagi. Aku sungguh bersyukur atas kehadirannya. Sungguh pendamping yang tepat untukmu. Wanita yang tegar. Wanita yang penuh kasih. Wanita yang di tengah kedukaannya tetap berjuang mencarikan dana pengobatan untukmu. Sungguh wanita yang luar biasa.

Aku hanya bisa berdoa untukmu. Cepatlah pulih. Jangan menyerah. Banyak hal indah menunggumu. Banyak orang yang mencintaimu. Kami semua mengharapkan kesehatanmu. Aku mengharapkan kesehatanmu. Aku mengharapkan kebahagiaanmu. Terlebih lagi, aku mengharapkan segala keindahan hidup bagi dirimu.

Get well soon, Bang…

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Compassion...

Okay, I know there’re no such things called coincidence. I do not believe in it. I also know that it’s not a coincidence that I’m being reminded of one of my positive side called Compassion for the 3rd time this month.


1. Romantic Room TMO. Me and Ray once talked about our teaching activity. I told him how much I care more about the children who’s psychologically in need, the children who have “uncompleted” life, the children whose needs are not fulfilled. I naturally give more attention to them. Of course not by giving them extra-excuses. I just tried to make them stronger, how hard their challenges are, so they can cope with their hard-life for a better future. Actually I’ve written about this few years ago on my Multply and Friendster Blog “Being A Teacher” (http://spidolungu.multiply.com/journal/item/6/Being_a_Teacher...)

2. My Facebook status this evening : “Christine 'Obi' Tobing have just had another inspiring conversation with the principal, a young but brilliant, unique, and sincere person he is. Always succeded filling my head with fresh ideas, possitive emotion, possitive attitude, and a bunch of motivation in a short time! What a precious moment! Thank you so much!!”

Yep, the conversation between me and him also brought that topic on the surface. One of the topic was about our needs in life, our desires in life, which is closely related to the choices we made for our life. He also pushed me to get a higher level in music, when doing music for my own happiness, to fulfill my desires, and to express the ideas and what I’m concern of. Not just to fulfill the market demands, being well-known, or just to earn money. Instead of waiting somebody or everybody to fulfill my needs, he inspired me to start giving. He thought my music skill is one of the best media I have to express that. He inspired me to create some music for something I’m concern of. On that time, the first thing I thought was about my concern to the humanity, the social pressures, the judgemental environment, etc.


3. The last reminder came from Facebook Quiz called “What is Your Best Trait?”. The result is below.

Christine took the "What is your Best Trait?" quiz and the result is Compassion.
You don't judge others' faults but rather have compassion on them and what they are going through. Your first instinct when you see someone in need is to comfort them and show them how much you care. You are gracious, and love flows out of you naturally. Even in situations where most people would back away, you are right there for people with your arms wide open. You feel empathy for those who suffer, and this might be because of your kind nature or maybe even because you can relate; whatever the reason, you help heal wounds and are a shoulder to cry on.

No more to say. It’s all well-written.
Psstt, I’ll tell you something. I think only a very few people know that the main urge of my participation in one of the top reality show in Indonesia was my concern about the humanity. I was intrigued by the judgmental environment on the stage and (furthermore) in our real life. I couldn’t resist my need to put forward my hypothesis on a test (that was me on the stage) and made it proven and accepted. People may say that’s useless, but I can’t deny what I’m concern of. (I'm gonna share this experience in a specific note later on.)

So, surely I’ll do something with this trait.

Life is....

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

_Mother Teresa_

Introducing : My Needs :p

I find it’s hard to get your attention.
I find it’s hard for me to feel appreciated by you.
I find it’s hard to know how much I mean for you.
I find it’s hard to see that you do care for me.

Forgive me for my need for attention
Forgive me for my need for affiliation.
Forgive me for my need for succourance.
Forgive me for my need for being taken care of.

But don’t blame me for these needs.
That’s human. I’m human.
I wish I could be more “human-less”,
and become need-less.
But everyone has their own needs.
Even you!

But I still hope you would start to care to people.
I still hope you would start to appreciate others more.
Because everybody needs the attention.
And everybody wants to be appreciated.

As I also try to understand you.
Maybe you do care.
Maybe you do pay attention.
But you just don’t have the need to show?

Or it’s true that you don’t care?
Is it true that I mean nothing to you?
I don’t know!
You said nothing! You showed nothing!

When two people cannot meet each other’s needs
and even worse, not trying to,
then they won’t get along for long.
And if they do, it would be too exhausting.

I cannot make you realize this problem we had.
I cannot make you care.
Worse, I cannot understand what you have in mind
I also cannot understand what you feel in heart.
……and that’s kinda exhausted, yea knooww! :-(

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Memorable Quotes for "He's Just Not That Into You" (2009)

(I think the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" is one of the movie that helps us to understand the different 'language' of men and women. Well, it does help a little. But I still can't understand Them at some point. *sigh*)


1. Javier: That's a lot of prepositions.

2. Alex: You're my exception.

3. Gigi: A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.

4. Gigi: We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.

5. Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you're gonna marry me.

6. Beth: Am I... will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?

7. Gigi: How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?

8. Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
Mary: It's exhausting.

9. Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

10. Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

11. Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!
Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?
Anna: Yep.
Ben: I think I just fell in love.

12. 5 yr. old Girl: Why did you do that?
6 yr. old Boy: Because you smell like dog poo.

13. Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.

14. Alex: He is not interested.

15. Janine: He's totally gonna call.

16. Neil: I don't wanna be with anybody else, I just wanna be with Beth.

17. Mary: What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?

18. Alex: I really gotta go to bed.
Gigi: Is that an invitation?
Alex: What?
Gigi: Oh god, That was cheesy.

19. Mother: Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.

20. Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

21. Gigi: I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.
Gigi: No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.
Janine: Ok.
Gigi: Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.

22. Alex: So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.

23. Gigi: Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab...
Alex: Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.

24. Gigi: Hey sorry to bug you again! Uh quick question.
Alex: What's going on?
Gigi: Ok I'm making out with this guy, PG stuff. but he mentions he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where's he gonna be that he's gonna be out of touch?
Gigi: Opens bathroom door - Where are you going out of town to again?
Gigi: Pittsburgh
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So what now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh. Yeah!
Gigi: There's not gonna be anybody left.

25. Alex: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.

26. Gigi: Hey Conor, It's GiGi, I just thought that I hadn't heard from you, and I mean how stupid is it taht a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right? Cause we're all equal right? more than equal. more women are accepted into law school now then men. Call me, oh this is GiGi, call me.

27. Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.

28. Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What's her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl... Alex.
Alex: There's no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can't hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can't focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.

29. African Woman #1: I'm sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!

30. Gigi: [opens the door, thinking it's Bill] Did you forget something?
Alex: Yeah...
Gigi: Really? What did you forget?
Alex: [pulls out a promotional pen from his pocket] This.
Gigi: So you came all the way here at 11 o' clock in the night to give me a promotional pen?
Alex: Yeah... Yeah, I did. I thought I would come up with some really great excuse to get over here. That's how it's done, right?
Gigi: [smiles] Sometimes.
Alex: Look, I can't stop thinking about you. I... It's a problem. I drive by your place; I call and hang up; I've turned into...
Gigi: Me.
Alex: Yeah.
Gigi: A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
Alex: That's true.
Gigi: But when I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to make it happen.
Alex: Okay, yeah, here's the thing about that... You were right. I'd gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women and having the power that, that I didn't know what it felt like when I actually fell for one of them... I didn't know.
Gigi: Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama, he calls; he does what he says...
Alex: [stepping closer] I can do that stuff too...
Gigi: But you didn't! And that same wise person told me that I'm the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that...
Gigi: [Alex kisses her]
[smiles]
Gigi: ... I'm the exception...
Alex: [whispers] You are *my* exception.
[they kiss again]

31. Alex: I'm sorry I'm late.
Gigi: No, it's okay. I like a little time before a blind date; prepare myself mentally;
[He puts a hand on her shoulder]
Gigi: remind myself not to tell the story about my molars.
Alex: Ah, Gigi, he's not coming. But you can tell me the story about the molars; I'd love to hear it.

32. Gigi: [Answering machine answers, Gigi's voice:] Or call my cell, or try me at work but definitely leave a message here first. Thanks!
Alex: Hey, Gigi. It's Alex, um, how's it going?
[He starts to pace]
Alex: Uh, just wondering how you're doing. I haven't talked to you in a little while and, uh, just wondering how you're doing.
[He sits on the couch]
Alex: So... I was hoping to talk to you... obviously. But you're out, I guess. So, just call me some time. Or tonight, uh, in around... uh, I'll be in around... that's, that's... not... now. It's Alex. Okay.
[He hangs up the phone]
Tyrone: Dude.
Alex: [He looks down] I know.

33. Neil: So, we're not getting married but I have to get rid of my pants?

34. Neil: They can lay horizontal!


(Modified at Sunday, January 10, 2010 1:35:44 AM from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes)
Official Website : www.hesjustnotthatintoyoum
ovie.com

Friday, January 08, 2010

Di Saat Aku Tua....

Suatu ketika ada seorang kakek yg harus tinggal dg anaknya, menantunya dan cucunya yg berusia 6 thn. Tangan orang tua ini sgt rapuh dan sering bergerak tak menentu, penglihatannya buram dan cara berjalannya pun ringkih.

Keluarga itu biasa makan bersama. Namun si orangtua pikun ini selalu mengacaukan suasana makan. Tangannya yg bergetar dan matanya yg rabun mmbuatnya susah utk menyantap makanan. Sendok dan garpu kerap jatuh, saat ia meraih gelas susu, segera saja susu tsb tumpah membasahi taplak meja.

Anak dan menantunya sgt gusar.
"Kita hrs melakukn sesuatu," ujar sang suami.
"Aku sdh bosan membereskan segala sesuatu utk Pak Tua ini."
Lalu kedua suami istri tsb membuatkan sebuah meja kayu dan meletakkannya di sudut ruangan. Di sana sang kakek akan duduk makan sendirian, krn sering memecahkn piring, mereka memberikan mangkuk kayu utk sang kakek.

Sering saat keluarga itu sibuk dg makan malam, terdengar isak tangis dr sudut ruangan. Ada air mata mengalir dr gurat keriput sang kakek. Namun kata yg sering diucapkan pasangan itu omelan agar jangan menjatuhkan makanan lagi. Anak mrk yg berusia 6 th hanya melihat dlm diam.

Suatu malam, sang ayah memperhatikan anaknya yg sdg bermain dg mainan kayu. Dengan lembut ditanyalah anak itu,
"Kau sdg membuat apa?"
Jawab anak itu,
"Aku sdg membuat meja dan mangkuk kayu utk ayah dan ibu jk aku besar nanti, akan aku letakkan di sudut dekat meja tmpt kakek makan".
Anak itu tersenyum dan melanjutkan pekerjaannya.

Jawaban itu membuat suami istri itu terpukul. Mereka tak mampu berkata-kata lagi. Airmata mengalir di pipi mrk. Walaupun tanpa kata2, kedua org ini mengerti ada sesuatu yg hrs diperbaiki. Malam itu juga mrk menuntun sang kakek utk makan malam bersama di meja makan. Tidak ada lagi omelan pd saat piring jatuh, atau saat makanan tumpah di meja. Kini mrk makan bersama lagi di meja utama.

Marilah kita selalu memberi teladan yg baik utk orang2 di sekitar kita. Krn itu adalah tabungan masa depan kita.

---

"DISAAT AKU TUA"

Disaat AKU TUA, bukan lagi diriku yang dulu.
Maklumilah diriKu, bersabarlah dalam menghadapiKu.

Disaat AKU menumpahkan kuah sayuran dibajuKu, Disaat AKU tidak lagi mengingat cara mengikatkan tali sepatu.
Ingatlah saat saat bagaimana AKU mengajariMu, membimbingMu untuk melakukannya.

Disaat AKU dengan pikunnya mengulang terus menerus ucapan yang membosankan.
Bersabarlah mendengarkanKu, jangan memotong ucapanKu. Dimasa kecilMu, AKU harus mengulang dan mengulang terus sebuah cerita yang telah AKU ceritakan ribuan kali hingga diriMu. Terlelap dalam mimpi.

Disaat AKU membutuhkanMu untuk MemandikanKu.
Janganlah menyalahkanKu, ingatkah di masa kecilMu, Bagaimana AKU dengan berbagai cara membujukMu untuk mandi.

Disaat AKU kebingungan menghadapi hal hal baru dan teknologi modern.
Janganlah menertawakanKu, renungkanlah bagaimana AKU dengan sabarnya menjawab setiap "MENGAPA" yg Kau tanya saat itu

Disaat kedua kakiKu terlalu lemah untuk berjalan
Ulurkanlah tanganMu yg muda dan kuat untuk memapahKu, bagaikan dimasa kecilMu AKU menuntunMu melangkahkan kaki untuk belajar berjalan

Disaat AKU melupakan topik pembicaraan kita
Berilah sedikit waktu padaKu untuk mengingatnya, sebenarnya topik pembicaraan bukanlah hal yg penting bagiKu, asalkan Kau ada di sisiKu untuk mendengarkanKu, AKU telah merasa bahagia.

Disaat Kau melihat diriKu menua, janganlah bersedih
Maklumilah diriKu, dukunglah AKU, seperti ketika aku menghadapiMu belajar bagaimana menapaki kehidupan ini...

Saturday, January 02, 2010

New Year's Revolution of 2010

This year I’m trying to make just a very simple note due to my willing to make a better me in 2010!

1. New KTP, SIM, Passport, ATM
2. Loose 15 kg!
3. Dancing regularly!
4. Yoga and swimming regularly!
5. Get a proper singing lesson!
6. More solo works!!!
7. Make the “Jazz Quintet” become real!
8. More regular jobs!
9. A neat and well-organized music score archive!
10. Invest more!
11. Going to Italy!
12. Buy a handycam!
13. Buy a new camera digital!
14. Moving out from home!
15. Byebye “Miss Late”!
16. “Warmer” to new people, pls!
17. Be tough while being elegant!
Balance my femininity with my independency!
18. Get a lover!


Notes :
• 1 : All of them are gonna be expired on my birthday!
• 2, 3, 4 : To improve my health!
• 2 : Only 5 kg last year. :(
• 3 : Might back to Khatak Dance, or find a non-gym-membership Belly Dance club.
• 4 : Terbukti jenis exercise yang cocok dengan tubuh.
• 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 : To improve my career!
• 11 : Keinginan lama yg hampir kesampean di 2009 kmrn! Mudah2an bisa pergi sm BMS thn ini!
• 12, 13 : Stlh a good quality digital voice recorder, skrg saatnya narcis scr visual! :p
• 14, 15, 16, 17 : To improve myself!
• 14 : Still, to be more independent!
• 16 : Kebiasan terlalu cuek dan terlalu malas untuk berbasa-basi, serta sikap yang memilih untuk mengobservasi “medan”, baru kemudian terjun ke dalam hanya ketika cukup nyaman. Hasilnya, 1st impression yang selalu melekat adalah galak, sombong, and untouchable.
• 17 : Femininity refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate woman and girls. But first of all, I need to find the urge of being judged as an “appropriate” woman by (only) a “particular” culture, while I’m happy being me, and I don’t find myself “harmful” to others, and I’m actually respect other people more than average people do. Oh well, let me just find the urge!
• 18 : To keep my sanity, while my estrogens are desperately in needs.

Oh, well….it’s not quite a simple-short notes as I planned. :p Anyway, it’s found that women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends, so I won’t hesitate to share this here.

Happy New Year 2010, everyone! May all your needs and dreams are fulfilled this year! GBU…


__________________________
________

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”


William Arthur Ward quotes (American dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher)
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