Monday, January 18, 2010

Wishing You All The Beautiful Things in Life...

Kututup pintu dengan rasa gamang. Rasanya seperti mimpi. Kau baru saja berada di depanku, setelah 5 tahun sudah kita tak bertemu. Ada sejuta rasa di sana. Ada duka, ada haru. Ada iba, ada juga rasa syukur. Ada rasa puas, ada juga rasa rindu. Berat kaki ini meninggalkanmu.

Seluruh energiku seakan terserap ketika kau jabat hangat tanganku. Hatiku kembali rapuh ketika kau tatap dalam mataku. Melebihi dari yang pernah kurasakan dulu. Baru kusadari betapa kumerindukanmu.

Gaya bicara yang khas. Kata-kata yang nyeleneh. Ledekan-ledekan penuh canda. Sindirian-sindiran kritis. Guyonan-guyonan cerdas. Dan tatapan mata yang masih sanggup membuat aku memalingkan pandangan. Ohh, sungguh membuat imaginasiku melayang ke masa lalu.

Kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama. Tak ada rasa benci. Kasih itu tetap ada. Bertahun-tahun kita berjalan terpisah. Tak bertanya kabar. Hanya beberapa kalimat mewakili setiap 365 hari yang kita jalani.

Undangan hari bahagiamu pun tak mewujudkan pertemuan kita. Ternyata kedukaan lah yang mempertemukan kita kembali. Maafkan aku. Betapa hatiku hancur melihat keadaanmu. Luka-luka sisa pengobatan. Mata sayu menahan rasa sakit. Kata-kata yang terkadang justru menunjukkan bahwa kau belum pulih sepenuhnya. Belum lagi biaya rumah sakit yang pasti sangat membebani pikiranmu.

Ingin kurentangkan tangan ini, dan memelukmu. Tapi itu tak mungkin. Di sisi sana ada seorang wanita kuat yang siap mendampingimu. Kau sudah tak butuh aku lagi. Aku sungguh bersyukur atas kehadirannya. Sungguh pendamping yang tepat untukmu. Wanita yang tegar. Wanita yang penuh kasih. Wanita yang di tengah kedukaannya tetap berjuang mencarikan dana pengobatan untukmu. Sungguh wanita yang luar biasa.

Aku hanya bisa berdoa untukmu. Cepatlah pulih. Jangan menyerah. Banyak hal indah menunggumu. Banyak orang yang mencintaimu. Kami semua mengharapkan kesehatanmu. Aku mengharapkan kesehatanmu. Aku mengharapkan kebahagiaanmu. Terlebih lagi, aku mengharapkan segala keindahan hidup bagi dirimu.

Get well soon, Bang…

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Compassion...

Okay, I know there’re no such things called coincidence. I do not believe in it. I also know that it’s not a coincidence that I’m being reminded of one of my positive side called Compassion for the 3rd time this month.


1. Romantic Room TMO. Me and Ray once talked about our teaching activity. I told him how much I care more about the children who’s psychologically in need, the children who have “uncompleted” life, the children whose needs are not fulfilled. I naturally give more attention to them. Of course not by giving them extra-excuses. I just tried to make them stronger, how hard their challenges are, so they can cope with their hard-life for a better future. Actually I’ve written about this few years ago on my Multply and Friendster Blog “Being A Teacher” (http://spidolungu.multiply.com/journal/item/6/Being_a_Teacher...)

2. My Facebook status this evening : “Christine 'Obi' Tobing have just had another inspiring conversation with the principal, a young but brilliant, unique, and sincere person he is. Always succeded filling my head with fresh ideas, possitive emotion, possitive attitude, and a bunch of motivation in a short time! What a precious moment! Thank you so much!!”

Yep, the conversation between me and him also brought that topic on the surface. One of the topic was about our needs in life, our desires in life, which is closely related to the choices we made for our life. He also pushed me to get a higher level in music, when doing music for my own happiness, to fulfill my desires, and to express the ideas and what I’m concern of. Not just to fulfill the market demands, being well-known, or just to earn money. Instead of waiting somebody or everybody to fulfill my needs, he inspired me to start giving. He thought my music skill is one of the best media I have to express that. He inspired me to create some music for something I’m concern of. On that time, the first thing I thought was about my concern to the humanity, the social pressures, the judgemental environment, etc.


3. The last reminder came from Facebook Quiz called “What is Your Best Trait?”. The result is below.

Christine took the "What is your Best Trait?" quiz and the result is Compassion.
You don't judge others' faults but rather have compassion on them and what they are going through. Your first instinct when you see someone in need is to comfort them and show them how much you care. You are gracious, and love flows out of you naturally. Even in situations where most people would back away, you are right there for people with your arms wide open. You feel empathy for those who suffer, and this might be because of your kind nature or maybe even because you can relate; whatever the reason, you help heal wounds and are a shoulder to cry on.

No more to say. It’s all well-written.
Psstt, I’ll tell you something. I think only a very few people know that the main urge of my participation in one of the top reality show in Indonesia was my concern about the humanity. I was intrigued by the judgmental environment on the stage and (furthermore) in our real life. I couldn’t resist my need to put forward my hypothesis on a test (that was me on the stage) and made it proven and accepted. People may say that’s useless, but I can’t deny what I’m concern of. (I'm gonna share this experience in a specific note later on.)

So, surely I’ll do something with this trait.

Life is....

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

_Mother Teresa_

Introducing : My Needs :p

I find it’s hard to get your attention.
I find it’s hard for me to feel appreciated by you.
I find it’s hard to know how much I mean for you.
I find it’s hard to see that you do care for me.

Forgive me for my need for attention
Forgive me for my need for affiliation.
Forgive me for my need for succourance.
Forgive me for my need for being taken care of.

But don’t blame me for these needs.
That’s human. I’m human.
I wish I could be more “human-less”,
and become need-less.
But everyone has their own needs.
Even you!

But I still hope you would start to care to people.
I still hope you would start to appreciate others more.
Because everybody needs the attention.
And everybody wants to be appreciated.

As I also try to understand you.
Maybe you do care.
Maybe you do pay attention.
But you just don’t have the need to show?

Or it’s true that you don’t care?
Is it true that I mean nothing to you?
I don’t know!
You said nothing! You showed nothing!

When two people cannot meet each other’s needs
and even worse, not trying to,
then they won’t get along for long.
And if they do, it would be too exhausting.

I cannot make you realize this problem we had.
I cannot make you care.
Worse, I cannot understand what you have in mind
I also cannot understand what you feel in heart.
……and that’s kinda exhausted, yea knooww! :-(

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Memorable Quotes for "He's Just Not That Into You" (2009)

(I think the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" is one of the movie that helps us to understand the different 'language' of men and women. Well, it does help a little. But I still can't understand Them at some point. *sigh*)


1. Javier: That's a lot of prepositions.

2. Alex: You're my exception.

3. Gigi: A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.

4. Gigi: We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.

5. Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you're gonna marry me.

6. Beth: Am I... will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?

7. Gigi: How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?

8. Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
Mary: It's exhausting.

9. Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

10. Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

11. Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!
Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?
Anna: Yep.
Ben: I think I just fell in love.

12. 5 yr. old Girl: Why did you do that?
6 yr. old Boy: Because you smell like dog poo.

13. Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.

14. Alex: He is not interested.

15. Janine: He's totally gonna call.

16. Neil: I don't wanna be with anybody else, I just wanna be with Beth.

17. Mary: What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?

18. Alex: I really gotta go to bed.
Gigi: Is that an invitation?
Alex: What?
Gigi: Oh god, That was cheesy.

19. Mother: Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.

20. Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

21. Gigi: I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.
Gigi: No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.
Janine: Ok.
Gigi: Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.

22. Alex: So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.

23. Gigi: Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab...
Alex: Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.

24. Gigi: Hey sorry to bug you again! Uh quick question.
Alex: What's going on?
Gigi: Ok I'm making out with this guy, PG stuff. but he mentions he's going out of town so he's gonna be out of touch.
Alex: Run.
Gigi: But maybe he is going out of town.
Alex: To where? New Guinea? Where's he gonna be that he's gonna be out of touch?
Gigi: Opens bathroom door - Where are you going out of town to again?
Gigi: Pittsburgh
Alex: Run.
Gigi: So what now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex: Uh. Yeah!
Gigi: There's not gonna be anybody left.

25. Alex: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.

26. Gigi: Hey Conor, It's GiGi, I just thought that I hadn't heard from you, and I mean how stupid is it taht a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right? Cause we're all equal right? more than equal. more women are accepted into law school now then men. Call me, oh this is GiGi, call me.

27. Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope.

28. Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What's her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl... Alex.
Alex: There's no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can't hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can't focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.

29. African Woman #1: I'm sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!

30. Gigi: [opens the door, thinking it's Bill] Did you forget something?
Alex: Yeah...
Gigi: Really? What did you forget?
Alex: [pulls out a promotional pen from his pocket] This.
Gigi: So you came all the way here at 11 o' clock in the night to give me a promotional pen?
Alex: Yeah... Yeah, I did. I thought I would come up with some really great excuse to get over here. That's how it's done, right?
Gigi: [smiles] Sometimes.
Alex: Look, I can't stop thinking about you. I... It's a problem. I drive by your place; I call and hang up; I've turned into...
Gigi: Me.
Alex: Yeah.
Gigi: A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
Alex: That's true.
Gigi: But when I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to make it happen.
Alex: Okay, yeah, here's the thing about that... You were right. I'd gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women and having the power that, that I didn't know what it felt like when I actually fell for one of them... I didn't know.
Gigi: Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama, he calls; he does what he says...
Alex: [stepping closer] I can do that stuff too...
Gigi: But you didn't! And that same wise person told me that I'm the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that...
Gigi: [Alex kisses her]
[smiles]
Gigi: ... I'm the exception...
Alex: [whispers] You are *my* exception.
[they kiss again]

31. Alex: I'm sorry I'm late.
Gigi: No, it's okay. I like a little time before a blind date; prepare myself mentally;
[He puts a hand on her shoulder]
Gigi: remind myself not to tell the story about my molars.
Alex: Ah, Gigi, he's not coming. But you can tell me the story about the molars; I'd love to hear it.

32. Gigi: [Answering machine answers, Gigi's voice:] Or call my cell, or try me at work but definitely leave a message here first. Thanks!
Alex: Hey, Gigi. It's Alex, um, how's it going?
[He starts to pace]
Alex: Uh, just wondering how you're doing. I haven't talked to you in a little while and, uh, just wondering how you're doing.
[He sits on the couch]
Alex: So... I was hoping to talk to you... obviously. But you're out, I guess. So, just call me some time. Or tonight, uh, in around... uh, I'll be in around... that's, that's... not... now. It's Alex. Okay.
[He hangs up the phone]
Tyrone: Dude.
Alex: [He looks down] I know.

33. Neil: So, we're not getting married but I have to get rid of my pants?

34. Neil: They can lay horizontal!


(Modified at Sunday, January 10, 2010 1:35:44 AM from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes)
Official Website : www.hesjustnotthatintoyoum
ovie.com

Friday, January 08, 2010

Di Saat Aku Tua....

Suatu ketika ada seorang kakek yg harus tinggal dg anaknya, menantunya dan cucunya yg berusia 6 thn. Tangan orang tua ini sgt rapuh dan sering bergerak tak menentu, penglihatannya buram dan cara berjalannya pun ringkih.

Keluarga itu biasa makan bersama. Namun si orangtua pikun ini selalu mengacaukan suasana makan. Tangannya yg bergetar dan matanya yg rabun mmbuatnya susah utk menyantap makanan. Sendok dan garpu kerap jatuh, saat ia meraih gelas susu, segera saja susu tsb tumpah membasahi taplak meja.

Anak dan menantunya sgt gusar.
"Kita hrs melakukn sesuatu," ujar sang suami.
"Aku sdh bosan membereskan segala sesuatu utk Pak Tua ini."
Lalu kedua suami istri tsb membuatkan sebuah meja kayu dan meletakkannya di sudut ruangan. Di sana sang kakek akan duduk makan sendirian, krn sering memecahkn piring, mereka memberikan mangkuk kayu utk sang kakek.

Sering saat keluarga itu sibuk dg makan malam, terdengar isak tangis dr sudut ruangan. Ada air mata mengalir dr gurat keriput sang kakek. Namun kata yg sering diucapkan pasangan itu omelan agar jangan menjatuhkan makanan lagi. Anak mrk yg berusia 6 th hanya melihat dlm diam.

Suatu malam, sang ayah memperhatikan anaknya yg sdg bermain dg mainan kayu. Dengan lembut ditanyalah anak itu,
"Kau sdg membuat apa?"
Jawab anak itu,
"Aku sdg membuat meja dan mangkuk kayu utk ayah dan ibu jk aku besar nanti, akan aku letakkan di sudut dekat meja tmpt kakek makan".
Anak itu tersenyum dan melanjutkan pekerjaannya.

Jawaban itu membuat suami istri itu terpukul. Mereka tak mampu berkata-kata lagi. Airmata mengalir di pipi mrk. Walaupun tanpa kata2, kedua org ini mengerti ada sesuatu yg hrs diperbaiki. Malam itu juga mrk menuntun sang kakek utk makan malam bersama di meja makan. Tidak ada lagi omelan pd saat piring jatuh, atau saat makanan tumpah di meja. Kini mrk makan bersama lagi di meja utama.

Marilah kita selalu memberi teladan yg baik utk orang2 di sekitar kita. Krn itu adalah tabungan masa depan kita.

---

"DISAAT AKU TUA"

Disaat AKU TUA, bukan lagi diriku yang dulu.
Maklumilah diriKu, bersabarlah dalam menghadapiKu.

Disaat AKU menumpahkan kuah sayuran dibajuKu, Disaat AKU tidak lagi mengingat cara mengikatkan tali sepatu.
Ingatlah saat saat bagaimana AKU mengajariMu, membimbingMu untuk melakukannya.

Disaat AKU dengan pikunnya mengulang terus menerus ucapan yang membosankan.
Bersabarlah mendengarkanKu, jangan memotong ucapanKu. Dimasa kecilMu, AKU harus mengulang dan mengulang terus sebuah cerita yang telah AKU ceritakan ribuan kali hingga diriMu. Terlelap dalam mimpi.

Disaat AKU membutuhkanMu untuk MemandikanKu.
Janganlah menyalahkanKu, ingatkah di masa kecilMu, Bagaimana AKU dengan berbagai cara membujukMu untuk mandi.

Disaat AKU kebingungan menghadapi hal hal baru dan teknologi modern.
Janganlah menertawakanKu, renungkanlah bagaimana AKU dengan sabarnya menjawab setiap "MENGAPA" yg Kau tanya saat itu

Disaat kedua kakiKu terlalu lemah untuk berjalan
Ulurkanlah tanganMu yg muda dan kuat untuk memapahKu, bagaikan dimasa kecilMu AKU menuntunMu melangkahkan kaki untuk belajar berjalan

Disaat AKU melupakan topik pembicaraan kita
Berilah sedikit waktu padaKu untuk mengingatnya, sebenarnya topik pembicaraan bukanlah hal yg penting bagiKu, asalkan Kau ada di sisiKu untuk mendengarkanKu, AKU telah merasa bahagia.

Disaat Kau melihat diriKu menua, janganlah bersedih
Maklumilah diriKu, dukunglah AKU, seperti ketika aku menghadapiMu belajar bagaimana menapaki kehidupan ini...

Saturday, January 02, 2010

New Year's Revolution of 2010

This year I’m trying to make just a very simple note due to my willing to make a better me in 2010!

1. New KTP, SIM, Passport, ATM
2. Loose 15 kg!
3. Dancing regularly!
4. Yoga and swimming regularly!
5. Get a proper singing lesson!
6. More solo works!!!
7. Make the “Jazz Quintet” become real!
8. More regular jobs!
9. A neat and well-organized music score archive!
10. Invest more!
11. Going to Italy!
12. Buy a handycam!
13. Buy a new camera digital!
14. Moving out from home!
15. Byebye “Miss Late”!
16. “Warmer” to new people, pls!
17. Be tough while being elegant!
Balance my femininity with my independency!
18. Get a lover!


Notes :
• 1 : All of them are gonna be expired on my birthday!
• 2, 3, 4 : To improve my health!
• 2 : Only 5 kg last year. :(
• 3 : Might back to Khatak Dance, or find a non-gym-membership Belly Dance club.
• 4 : Terbukti jenis exercise yang cocok dengan tubuh.
• 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 : To improve my career!
• 11 : Keinginan lama yg hampir kesampean di 2009 kmrn! Mudah2an bisa pergi sm BMS thn ini!
• 12, 13 : Stlh a good quality digital voice recorder, skrg saatnya narcis scr visual! :p
• 14, 15, 16, 17 : To improve myself!
• 14 : Still, to be more independent!
• 16 : Kebiasan terlalu cuek dan terlalu malas untuk berbasa-basi, serta sikap yang memilih untuk mengobservasi “medan”, baru kemudian terjun ke dalam hanya ketika cukup nyaman. Hasilnya, 1st impression yang selalu melekat adalah galak, sombong, and untouchable.
• 17 : Femininity refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate woman and girls. But first of all, I need to find the urge of being judged as an “appropriate” woman by (only) a “particular” culture, while I’m happy being me, and I don’t find myself “harmful” to others, and I’m actually respect other people more than average people do. Oh well, let me just find the urge!
• 18 : To keep my sanity, while my estrogens are desperately in needs.

Oh, well….it’s not quite a simple-short notes as I planned. :p Anyway, it’s found that women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends, so I won’t hesitate to share this here.

Happy New Year 2010, everyone! May all your needs and dreams are fulfilled this year! GBU…


__________________________
________

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”


William Arthur Ward quotes (American dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher)
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